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钢铁直男都是怎么气死女朋友的

  • 2026-02-09 05:20:11
钢铁直男都是怎么气死女朋友的
陪你度过漫长岁月
/2026.1.30/

Friday.2026

钢铁直男都是怎么气死女朋友的

问他看上自己什么了

他说你最大的优点是老实善良

合着在他眼里就是老实人？

别人和男朋友说我饿了
人家男朋友就会立刻说：走想吃什么我带你去
直男男朋友会说：
你消化挺好，这是要胖的节奏啊
第一次约会，画了精致的妆容
头发也是新洗的，自己做了个造型
还喷了发胶
见面他说：你今天好漂亮啊
就是头发怎么看上去油油的
你看都黏在一起了，有点反光
好不容易鼓起勇气跟他说情话
月亮被揉碎了变成满天星光，而你就在那星光里
直男男朋友：月亮那么大，谁揉碎的？
直男不可怕
金鱼系直男才可怕
上一秒刚跟他说完
下一秒他就忘了
跟他抱怨自己有点胖
他说你也不胖，就是壮！！
就是壮！！！

动不动就：宝宝，你眼线歪了宝宝，你怎么画黑眼圈啊特么的那是卧蚕啊

涂口红就说化浓妆
上了眼影却说你眼睛为什么是肿的
还不理解为什么女生要买辣么多衣服
跟闺蜜在讨论体重问题
刚好说到，我最近瘦了呢
直男男票直接过来
他说你看上去没瘦啊
一点都不留面子的那种
男朋友不仅直还蠢
有一次想着跟他搞点情趣
就给他发了一些儿童不宜的图片
过两天发现微信被举报给封了
就跟他吐槽说
不知道是谁把我微信举报了
结果他说：是我举报的
同事说她老公去给她买口红
柜姐推荐 芭比粉 她老公当场拒绝
转头就给她买了个玫红色
有一次聊天，开玩笑说一句：狗子你变了
他脸色立马变了，还说你怎么骂人呢
你才是狗，没想到你还会骂人
what？！突然觉得不懂你的梗也挺难相处的
生日收到一个坐垫，太极图案
上面有两个字：修仙
好的，姐修仙去了，你可以滚了
女生：我去种睫毛了，你自己玩游戏吧
我不方便看手机
男生：啊？我不玩，你以为你做这种平凡的小手术
我就不担心你吗？？？
这真的是直得有点可爱啊
直男没有女朋友
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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000568s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000541s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.006505s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000372s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000656s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000271s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000683s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 467290 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000483s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1770788489 WHERE `id` = 467290 [ RunTime:0.007114s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 66 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000475s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467290 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000787s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 467290 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.002351s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467290 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000712s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467290 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.001078s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467290 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.000921s ]
0.101341s