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恋爱的尴尬时刻...

  • 2026-03-24 03:39:33
恋爱的尴尬时刻...

“ 还记得那年...”

我男朋友想偷偷给我惊喜，把礼物和花送我家门口，但不知道家住几室，就在单元门下面等人问，认不认识我，问到了我妈。

和他开麦打游戏，渴了猛灌半瓶可乐，然后打了一个巨长的嗝，没关麦。

两个人去吃饭，太紧张了，结果俩人都没付钱，隔天我又跑去付钱。

很久之前和crush出去玩，偷偷抠鼻屎，然后后面捂嘴笑的时候他指着我的手指说你手指上有鼻屎。

之前和crush在他的桌面上掰手腕，一边掰一边笑，然后万众瞩目下，我掉了一口口水到他的桌子上。

有一次在楼道间，准备开门的时候，想着偷偷放个屁，结果，越紧张放得贼大声，声音在楼道里回荡，他懵了几秒钟，说以为什么炸了。我说我不小心放了个p，都给他留下阴影了。

去年五一期间和男朋友出去吃大鱼大肉太多了，拉粑粑巨多巨巨巨巨巨巨巨巨臭!一开始男朋友在屋里睡觉，我拉之前怕太臭让他闻见还把窗户都打开方便散味儿了，结果随着我拉的一坨比一坨臭，愣把他从睡梦中臭醒了。

想起了在隔壁刷到一个网友把自己拉的..准备打包带走结果当成早餐放在她男朋友桌子上了。

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  139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/d.mffb.com.cn/runtime/temp/7adeb6501d5fccfd859f1cc762ea4066.php ( 11.98 KB )
  140. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/d.mffb.com.cn/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Html.php ( 4.42 KB )
  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000524s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000796s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.003253s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000267s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000619s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.002361s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000598s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 482845 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000456s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1775732465 WHERE `id` = 482845 [ RunTime:0.013178s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.002866s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 482845 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000536s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 482845 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000406s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 482845 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000748s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 482845 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.016111s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 482845 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.000915s ]
0.184046s