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秋分这天,60岁的我在婚恋上犯糊涂

  • 2026-08-07 23:41:04
秋分这天,60岁的我在婚恋上犯糊涂
我这人虽说文化不高嘴也笨，可今天真想说点掏心窝子的话，寻思聊几句，主要还是家里的那点事儿。
我们这一辈，很少有实打实的因为爱情走到一起，那个年代光顾着吃饱饭，多赚钱，把家庭撑起来，结婚生子似乎是水到渠成的事情，没有什么甜言蜜语、花前月下的故事。可就因为这样，我的爱情观念却不被儿女认可。
晚饭的时候，女儿轻飘飘地
说了一句：“爸，妈，我觉得婚姻对我来说不是必要的，你们就别再催婚了，这样我也能睡得好一点。”
“爸，妈，你是希望我幸福，还是让我以你们认为的幸福而幸福？”
戒烟三年的我，下意识摸了摸口袋，又挠了挠头。我们那个年代，在27岁的时候，是几个孩子的爹了？好像身边不成家的人，才是另类，是不三不四的闲人。从来没人说过为什么结婚生子，就是这么顺水推舟，自然而然的成家立业，一步一跟头的把孩子拉扯大，把家维持好。一直到现在，我们是不是都没想过这个问题。
其实我知道，闺女不是什么坚定的不婚主义，女权斗士，她就是怕凑合，怕错付，怕被伤害。她和我说了太多的办公室里失败的婚姻，婚内出轨的，孕期胡乱搞的，夫妻冷战谁都不愿意低头的，比比皆是。她不是心冷了，是怕了。
虽然我和孩儿他妈年轻时候虽然没原则性错误，可也吵架、摔盘子、冷战，就这样凑合了一辈子，为了孩子互相的忍让，还说了不少次“要不是因为孩子，我早就和你离了”，吵吵闹闹的到现在，也坚持下来了。闺女自小看在眼里，现在没挑明翻旧账，可我都知道，顾及着我这老脸呢。我这个父亲没做好榜样，真该死！按照现在话来说，就是“原生家庭”的问题。惭愧至极。想到这，我又摸了摸口袋。没有烟，也没有打火机。
闺女现在工作经济上都独立，我们老两口能帮上忙的地方也不多，张罗着相亲，物色姑爷的事情还算上心，可女儿却三天两头的拒绝这位见面了，那位谈不拢不合适了，搞得我们到处解释。
可敞开了想，掰碎了说，其实女儿的想法并没有错，反而是我俩逼着她相亲、恋爱、讨论婚事，从来没想过她到底想不想。幸福都是相对的，每个人都有自己的理解，比如恋爱是幸福的，结婚是幸福的，可我们这把年纪的人了，羞于提起。也从来没想到分手、离婚也是为了幸福。
所以我想了想，女儿说的对，要以她的幸福而感到幸福。千万不能强加给她我们看似温柔的强行要求。膝下承欢，儿孙满堂自然是美事，孝亲娱亲本是本分，却也不该以失去自我为代价。
好啦，我呀专心做好卤牛肉，打包好拿手菜，成家不成家，往后几十年的光景，还久着呢。我就不瞎指挥了。
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《恋爱》你听了吗?

中年人恋爱的疯狂超过小年轻啦

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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000984s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001407s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000710s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000682s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001307s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000602s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001718s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 538816 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000958s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1786214535 WHERE `id` = 538816 [ RunTime:0.002262s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 64 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000622s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 538816 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000976s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 538816 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001044s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 538816 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.001616s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 538816 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.001628s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 538816 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.001879s ]
0.175947s