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金靖,恋爱里的直球高手

  • 2026-02-19 19:21:18
金靖,恋爱里的直球高手
--前路漫漫，关注拉拉，让我与你一起携手并肩
拉拉在刷视频时偶然看到‘金靖的恋爱技巧’真是觉得搞笑幽默又富含真理。拉拉汇总下来分享给我的家人们！
金靖在综艺节目中说，如果有喜欢的人，她会主动出击，半个月不给回应的，就会立刻换一个。因为她敢于去尝试，她觉得恋爱跟找工作投简历是一样的。你喜欢这个工作，你就投递。如公司拒绝你了，肯定要换一个工作呀。工作跟男人差不多的。 大胆出击，不要害怕，多尝试几次，总有一个是成功的。金靖说，如果身边有一个优质男生，你敢于表白吗？或许你会犹豫，但是金靖可以，她会直球出击，金靖说，真的千万别给自己设限，大家都说她在剧组里吃的好，金靖回答说，那是因为我敢吃，哈哈哈！
这点和沈奕斐教授的观点不谋而合，她认为不管男性还是女性，主动出击的人找到的对象，条件往往比被动等待的更好，背后的逻辑很简单，每个人找伴侣时，都难免想找比自己条件稍好一点的。主动迈出第一步，本身就扩大了选择范围，自然更容易遇到契合的人。假设有一个人在你不喜欢的状态下追了你好多年，最后你感动了，这件事情虽听上去很浪漫。但一般来讲，这个人的性格是蛮偏执的，你也需要打个问号，未必是健康的感情开端。
沈奕斐还聊到，很多人不敢主动，无非是怕丢面子。担心自己表白后被拒绝，觉得没面子、很受伤。沈奕斐点透了关键，其实这种受伤感，本质是把爱情和自我价值绑在了一起。好像被拒绝就是自己不够好，可事实根本不是这样。向人表达好感被拒，拒绝的只是这段关系的可能性，不是你的个人价值。说不定对方还觉得自己高攀了你。因此只是单纯不匹配而已。直球出击，能快速摸清对方的态度，不浪费彼此的时间。这种心态不光适用于爱情，在职场里也一样，主动争取机会，哪怕失败了，也只是知道了一个不匹配的选项，没什么可惜的。因此，勇敢去尝试。淡然去面对。
成年人的价值观早就定型了，根本没法靠培养和劝说改变。很多人在感情里犯的错，就是想着去改变对方，苦口婆心说半天，不仅没效果，还会让对方觉得厌烦。这其实就是价值观和认知不匹配的信号，与其费力改造，不如直接筛选。感情里的直球出击，其实就是一种高效的筛选方式。不用猜来猜去，不用纠结对方的心思，直接表达自己的好感，就能快速判断彼此是否契合。合得来就继续相处，合不来就及时转身，不耽误自己寻找下一个可能。那些总在被动等待的人，不仅错过很多机会，还容易陷入自我内耗。
别给自己的感情设限，不要纠结“主动会不会显得掉价”，也别害怕“被拒绝会不会没面子”。就像金靖说的，多尝试几次，总有一次会成功。感情里最珍贵的，是找到价值观匹配、彼此合拍的人。直球出击，就是最快找到这种人的方式。
勇敢一点，主动表达自己的心意。无论结果如何，都是一次清晰的筛选，是一次对自己心意的尊重。毕竟，好的感情从来不是等出来的，是靠主动出击找到的。
--关注拉拉，陪你走过每个春冬秋夏
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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000463s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000770s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000293s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000251s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000474s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000216s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000548s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 459695 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000776s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1772295095 WHERE `id` = 459695 [ RunTime:0.000787s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000269s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 459695 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000426s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 459695 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000378s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 459695 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.000857s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 459695 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.001059s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 459695 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.000850s ]
0.105372s