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“情绪价值拉满的恋爱显微镜”

  • 2026-02-07 10:11:46
“情绪价值拉满的恋爱显微镜”
01

你发个“在忙”
他秒回“忙啥呢”
忙给你编借口都比忙工作认真

02

你回个“哦”
他开始自我审查三分钟
是不是上条消息太油腻了

03

你说“最近好累”
他立刻脑补八百字小作文
《论我女朋友为何突然emo的17种可能》

04

他问“想吃啥”
你答“随便”
他当场启动AI点餐系统
最后点了份你三天前说想吃的螺蛳粉

05

你发张云朵照片
他秒懂这是在暗示“今天心情像棉花糖”
其实你只是手机相册里没图了

06

他说“晚安”
你回“睡了”
他盯着对话框看了两分钟
仿佛在解一道薛定谔的晚安题

07

你吐槽同事
他立马开启情感翻译模式
把“她今天又抢我功劳”
听成“我需要被全世界看见”

08

你随口说“好想养猫”
他连夜研究猫砂品牌
连猫主子未来的名字都想好了
叫“旺财”（因为旺他）

09

你什么都没说
他已经开始幻想
你们老了以后
他给你剥橘子你嫌他剥得丑
然后他笑着把橘子塞自己嘴里——
这大概就是
情绪价值拉满的终极形态

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  139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/d.mffb.com.cn/runtime/temp/7adeb6501d5fccfd859f1cc762ea4066.php ( 11.98 KB )
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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000468s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000677s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.004537s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.001676s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000591s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001114s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000662s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 467901 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000462s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1770675817 WHERE `id` = 467901 [ RunTime:0.007425s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000247s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467901 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000626s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 467901 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000456s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467901 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.004205s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467901 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.000790s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 467901 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.003684s ]
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