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恋爱里最好的状态也是轻度喜悦和轻度沮丧

  • 2026-03-26 09:31:07
恋爱里最好的状态也是轻度喜悦和轻度沮丧
好姐妹最近恋爱了，我已经快速习得一项技能，那就是从她的晴雨表里判断爱情进展如何：通常只要我发现她有段时间容易抓狂、抱怨、坐立难安，就说明她现在约会的这个人，不对。
无论对方条件再怎样耀眼，恋爱状态骗不了人，一旦消极情绪盖过积极情绪，就说明他的好并没有作用在两个人的关系上，消耗比滋养多。真正好的状态也应该是微微喜悦和微微沮丧，组合在一起，其实就是日日的平静。
我相信爱一个人是身体的选择，大脑会比心灵先一步做出判断。恋爱里没有比张无忌更会犹疑的男人了吧？他在哪一刻发现最爱赵敏的呢--是大婚当天被她诓了出去，不仅不恼反而觉得喜乐，甚至比自己要成亲时“更加平安舒畅”，所以立刻觉得：就是她了，且只能是她。
啊，我特别同意，对的人会带来平静的喜悦；而能让人感觉日日平静的爱，就是很好很好的爱。
我自己在20岁出头时，也爱追求新鲜的爱，渴望那种“分分钟都渴望与他相见，在路上碰着亦乐上几天”的内心震荡；
可是后来发现，真正好的爱情不是那样的--它绝不是秋千，有极速上升的兴奋就会有突然下落的空虚，好的爱人不会让你双脚升空失去重心--而是稳稳落地，两个人比一个人更开心更平静。
甚至这种平静不一定非要伴侣给出，还可以是好友--于奥说在金靖身边待着，比跟丈夫在一起更觉平静。平静好可贵，它代表了最稳定的状态，无论外界怎样变换，它最能长久。
如今我追求全方位的平静，无论爱情还是外在面貌，有小差池没关系但能在掌控范围里就好。这种状态一方面倚赖修心，另一方面是筛选，我发现筛选是避免日后重重烦恼的第一要义，去选择一个能令你感到平静的爱人，比学习各种各样的恋爱法则与“术”要重要太多。
因为越到后面越发觉，精力与心力是最矜贵的东西，平静的根本是自我被最大保存不被虚耗。
我特别喜欢雷晓宇在《海胆》里形容李安：他是一个盛放一切的容器，叫人不至于流淌。用这句话形容理想的爱情也无有不可，好的爱情容得下一切，似湖泊，似树根，让灵魂不会无依地四散流淌…
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大家都返工了嘛，我还没回上海，抓紧最后时间在家里吃吃喝喝。给在郑州的朋友推荐一家最近吃到体验感很棒的fine dining：滴星Nowhere。
在上海吃了不少漂亮饭，因此在去这家前我没报太大期待，结果出奇不错，更难得的是结合了好多特色豫菜--譬如胡辣汤，黄河大鲤鱼，羊肉烩面……跟法式餐相结合，fusion的刚刚好。
环境也很绝！！艺术廊的风格（其实楼下就是真实的art gallery），很安静，老板Allen讲他们目前一天最高接待六桌客人，以保证服务体验，差不多算私人订制了。
这个环境实话讲在郑州很难找到第二家
关于wine pairing的选择也很多，其中就有我上次跟大家推荐的试管装葡萄酒品牌昨非，可以尝到宁夏最顶级的几家酒庄代表作（我上次去喝到了留世的赤霞珠红葡萄酒，单宁不涩口，果香轻盈得很妙，没忍住干完一整瓶！
餐后甜品也好惊艳，松针冰淇淋加马斯卡彭芝士已经够香了，黑芝麻有增加一抹厚重，最后冰凉甜蜜的烤橘子清清口，很完美的落笔。
新年祝大家吃好喝好，祝你有爱，更愿你平静。
本文来自网友投稿或网络内容，如有侵犯您的权益请联系我们删除，联系邮箱：wyl860211@qq.com 。

恋爱脑有多傻

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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.001209s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001735s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.006644s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.009136s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001648s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000646s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001658s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 477950 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.003388s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1775732733 WHERE `id` = 477950 [ RunTime:0.047093s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000960s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 477950 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001318s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 477950 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001950s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 477950 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.002139s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 477950 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.002826s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 477950 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.010377s ]
0.184163s