Skye C. Cleary: Why do we love?Ah, romantic love - beautiful and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time.
啊，浪漫的爱情——美丽而令人陶醉，令人心碎又摧毁灵魂，常常同时兼具这些特质。
Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer?
我们为何选择让自己经受这种情感的折磨？
Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering?
爱让我们的生活变得有意义，还是只是逃离孤独与苦难的出口？
Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a trick of biology to make us procreate?
爱是性欲的伪装，还是生物学诱骗我们繁衍后代的把戏？
Is it all we need?
它是我们所需要的一切吗？
Do we need it at all?
我们真的需要它吗？
If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet.
如果浪漫爱情有其目的，科学和心理学至今尚未发现。
But over the course of history, some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories.
但在历史长河中，一些最受尊敬的哲学家提出了一些耐人寻味的理论。
Love makes us whole, again.
爱让我们重新变得完整。
The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in order to become complete.
古希腊哲学家柏拉图探讨了这样一种观点：我们爱人是为了变得完整。
In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright, regales the guests with the following story:
在他的《会饮篇》中，他描写了一场晚宴，喜剧作家阿里斯托芬为宾客们讲述了如下故事：
humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces.
人类曾经是拥有四只手臂、四条腿和两张脸的生物。
One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus sliced them all in two.
有一天，他们激怒了众神，宙斯将他们全部切成两半。
Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself.
从那以后，每个人都在寻找自己缺失的另一半。
Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party.
爱是对找到灵魂伴侣的渴望，那个能让我们再次感到完整的人，或者至少，柏拉图认为这是一个醉酒喜剧演员在派对上会说的话。
Love tricks us into having babies.
爱诱骗我们去生孩子。
Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love based in sexual desire was a voluptuous illusion.
很久很久以后，德国哲学家亚瑟·叔本华认为，基于性欲而产生的爱情不过是一种虚幻的享乐之梦。
He suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken.
他提出，我们之所以爱，是因为欲望让我们相信另一个人会让我们幸福，但我们大错特错了。
Nature is tricking us into procreating, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children.
大自然在诱骗我们繁衍后代，我们寻求的爱的融合在我们的孩子身上得以实现。
When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tormented existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery.
当我们的性欲得到满足，我们又被抛回痛苦的生存状态中，我们成功的只是维持了物种的延续，并延续人类劳役的循环。
Sounds like somebody needs a hug.
听起来有人需要拥抱。
Love is escape from our loneliness.
爱是我们逃离孤独的出口。
According to the Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires.
据诺贝尔奖得主、英国哲学家伯特兰·罗素所言，我们相爱是为了满足我们身体和心理上的欲望。
Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying.
人类天生被设计来繁衍，但没有激情之爱的狂喜，性行为是不令人满足的。
Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves.
我们对这个冰冷、残酷的世界的恐惧，促使我们筑起坚固的外壳来保护和隔离自己。
Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life.
爱的喜悦、亲密和温暖帮助我们克服对世界的恐惧，逃离孤独的躯壳，更充分地投入生活。
Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life.
爱丰富我们整个存在，使之成为生命中最好的事物。
Love is a misleading affliction.
爱情是一种令人误入歧途的折磨。
Siddhārtha Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the Enlightened One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell.
悉达多·乔达摩，即被称为佛陀或觉悟者的人，可能会与罗素有一些有趣的争论。
Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires.
佛陀认为，我们之所以去爱，是因为我们试图满足自身的基本欲望。
Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering.
然而，我们热烈的渴望是缺陷，执着，即使是浪漫之爱，也是痛苦的巨大来源。
Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can reach Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion.
幸运的是，佛陀发现了八正道，一种熄灭欲望之火的方案，以便我们能够达到涅槃——一种和平、清晰、智慧和慈悲的觉悟状态。
The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber."
小说家曹雪芹在中国最伟大的古典小说《红楼梦》中阐释了这种佛教观点，即浪漫之爱是愚蠢的。
In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him.
在次要情节中，贾瑞爱上了西凤，而西凤却欺骗并羞辱了他。
Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it.
爱与恨交织的复杂情感将他折磨得身心俱疲，于是一个道家之人给了他一面神奇的镜子，只要他不看向镜子的正面，就能治愈他的伤痛。
But of course, he looks at the front of it.
但当然，他看了正面。
He sees Xi-feng.
他看到了王熙凤。
His soul enters the mirror and he is dragged away in iron chains to die.
他的灵魂进入了镜子，他被铁链拖走死去。
Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the moral of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided.
并非所有佛教徒都如此看待浪漫和性爱，但这个故事的寓意是，这种执着意味着悲剧，应该连同魔镜一起被避免。
Love lets us reach beyond ourselves.
爱让我们超越自我。
Let's end on a slightly more positive note.
让我们以一个稍微积极一些的调子结束。
The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with meaning.
法国哲学家西蒙娜·德·波伏娃提出，爱是与他人融合的渴望，它为我们的生活注入意义。
However, she was less concerned with why we love and more interested in how we can love better.
然而，她不太关心我们为何爱，更感兴趣的是我们如何能够爱得更好。
She saw that the problem with traditional romantic love is it can be so captivating, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being.
她意识到，传统意义上的浪漫爱情之所以存在弊端，是因为它极具吸引力，以至于我们会忍不住将其视为自己存在的唯一理由。
Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence easily leads to boredom and power games.
然而，依赖他人来证明我们的存在容易导致无聊和权力游戏。
To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship.
为避免陷入这种困境，博韦尔建议要真诚地去爱，这种爱更像是一种深厚的友谊。
Lovers support each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together.
爱人们互相支持，发现自我，超越自我，共同丰富他们的生活和世界。
Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride.
尽管我们可能永远不知道为什么我们会坠入爱河，但我们可以确定这将是一次情感的过山车之旅。
It's scary and exhilarating.
这既令人恐惧又令人兴奋。
It makes us suffer and makes us soar.
它让我们受苦，也让我们飞翔。
Maybe we lose ourselves.
也许我们迷失自我。
Maybe we find ourselves.
也许我们找到自我。
It might be heartbreaking, or it might just be the best thing in life.
它可能令人心碎，也可能只是生命中最好的事物。
Will you dare to find out?
你敢去发现吗？
内容总结
爱情哲学的五种解读
本文梳理了历史上重要哲学家对浪漫爱情本质的探讨：
1. 柏拉图：重拾完整
借用阿里斯托芬"球形人"神话，认为人类被宙斯劈成两半后，终生寻找另一半以求重新完整。爱情是灵魂对原初统一的渴望。
2. 叔本华：繁衍的陷阱
性欲基础上的爱是感官幻觉，大自然为延续物种而欺骗人类。爱的融合最终在子女身上实现，欲望满足后人类仍回归痛苦与劳役的循环。
3. 罗素：对抗孤独
爱是为满足身心欲望。它提供迷狂、亲密与温暖，帮助人类突破自我保护的外壳，克服对残酷世界的恐惧，是"生命中最好的事物"。
4. 佛陀：痛苦的根源
爱是满足基本欲望的执着，是痛苦的主要来源。通过八正道熄灭欲望之火，方能达到涅槃。曹雪芹《红楼梦》中贾瑞照风月宝镜而亡的故事，印证了浪漫执着的悲剧性。
5. 波伏娃：超越自我
爱是与他人融合的渴望，赋予生命意义。她批判传统爱情易使人将对方当作存在唯一理由，导致权力游戏。主张像真挚友谊那样"真诚地爱"，支持彼此发现自我、共同拓展生命边界。
结语：爱情是一场危险而振奋的情感过山车，可能带来心碎，也可能成就生命中最美好的体验——无论迷失还是找到自我，这都是人类敢于探索的永恒谜题。
