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恋爱日记|谈恋爱不要考虑对方!

  • 2026-05-15 02:28:08
恋爱日记|谈恋爱不要考虑对方!
嗨，我是惜云。
今天是2026年5.14号，星期四。
我一直是一个优先考虑别人的人。
当我有一个需求，我的第一反应不是说出来，而是考虑对方情况，对他来说这是不是麻烦，他能不能满足我，他满足我会不会让他自己牺牲什么？
如果我觉得这个需求对他来说是有点为难的，或者不太现实的，那我就基本不会说出这个需求了，哪怕这个需求不是很大。
结果就是，我优先考虑了对方的想法和情况，却忽视了自己的需求。
而他可能完全不知道，我这需求从起心动念到独自默默放下的，一整个心路历程。
这会让我觉得委屈，不满。长期来看，很影响关系的发展。关系可能会变得越来越远。
还有一个问题就是，我自以为为他考虑了很多，但可能我是错的。因为我不是他，我只能站在自己的角度去想他，而不能代表真的他。
我有权表达自己的需求，他也理应亲自表达自己的想法和行动。
因为爱己先于爱人。
所以，你不用考虑对方，只需要考虑自己就行，别人他们会为自己考虑，而且你为别人考虑的只是你以为的，但并不是他们真正的想法。
这是对于我这种，次次都说不出口的人来说的。
我现在正在练习，敢于说出自己的需求，或者寻求帮助。
要打破我以往的行为习惯太难了，但我还是选择改变。
如果你具备敢于提需求的能力，还是需要互相考虑对方的。考虑完自己的需求，也要听一听对方的想法，这是让双方都觉得自己被放在心上的前提，可以让关系更好。
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  139. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/d.mffb.com.cn/runtime/temp/7adeb6501d5fccfd859f1cc762ea4066.php ( 11.98 KB )
  140. /yingpanguazai/ssd/ssd1/www/d.mffb.com.cn/vendor/topthink/think-trace/src/Html.php ( 4.42 KB )
  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.001045s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001385s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000789s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000678s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001279s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000538s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001855s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 511938 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001085s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1778800576 WHERE `id` = 511938 [ RunTime:0.001892s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000635s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 511938 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001347s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 511938 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000944s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 511938 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.001460s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 511938 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.011205s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 511938 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.001960s ]
0.208024s