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10个精选笑话,恋爱的时候你也是这么骗我的!!!

  • 2026-04-16 15:59:04
10个精选笑话,恋爱的时候你也是这么骗我的!!!
昨晚下班回家，走在无人的小巷。
有个人拦住我对我说：“看到你，我都想犯罪。”
我害羞的低下头小声说道：“超过半个小时，我不反抗。”
坐火车的时候，对面铺是一个美女。半夜的时候她叫醒我说她冷，没办法我把被子给她盖了！
可是她盖了被子还说冷，还一脸幽怨地说：“每次冷的时候我妈妈都会抱着我！”
我听了过去给了她一巴掌：“MD大半夜的我难道要跳下火车给你找你妈去？”
刚刚出差回来的销售员冲进他家附近的枪支店，怒气冲冲地叫道：“我要一些子弹，我要干掉那些我出差期间与我老婆有染的龟孙子们！”
店员说：“您最好下次再来，这种子弹只剩下两箱了。”
大伟出差半年。
回到家，媳妇问大伟：“诶，老公，我问你个事，要是邻居家种了一棵桃树，结果枝条伸到咱家院子里，还结了桃子，你开心不？”
大伟就说：“开心啊，白捡的便宜，当然开心啊！”
媳妇松了一口气，说：“开心就好，开心就好！对了，再告诉你个事，我怀孕了！”
儿子：“妈，为什么姐姐要叫做张苹？”
 妈妈：“因为那时候我在吃苹果，就突然想到的。”
 儿子：“那为什么哥哥要叫做张德？”
妈妈：“因为想名字那天我正好在吃肯德基，就这么决定了。” 
儿子：“我的名字为什么叫张昆。”
 妈：“...”
 老婆：“这么多年，你都没干过家务，你是怎么做到的？”
老公：“靠脸！”
老婆：“TMD！你是在说自己帅嘛？？？！！！”
老公：“我...我说的是厚度！”
老公问专家：“有个爱买衣服的老婆怎么治？”
专家回答：“天哪，就中国现在这个国情，有老婆就不错啦！还想治？只能惯着，随便买！！！养不起就让出来，让出来给别人养。”
在抽血室外面，排在前面的是一对夫妻。
妻子在准备抽血，那妻子害怕，头一直埋在男人的怀里，男人轻拍着她的头说：“别怕，还没进去呢，放轻松，不会疼的。”
妻子抬起头说：“恋爱的时候你也是这么骗我的！”
大姐家大儿子15岁，身高窜到了181公分！
今天跑我跟前一站，笑眯眯的跟我说：“哎呀呀，我咋比小姨高这么多了？！”
我姐看不下去了，跳起来给娃一巴掌过去：“比什么身高！有能耐跟你小姨比比体重！”
弟弟给侄女讲《小红帽》的故事。
讲到小红帽成功把她奶奶从大灰狼的肚子里救出来的时候，弟弟问她：“你领悟到学到什么了吗？” 
她说：“吃东西要嚼碎…” 

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祝您顺风又顺水！！!

您的留言与建议，是对我最大的帮助和鼓励，万分感谢~~~
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原来在南财上学的感觉比恋爱更美好

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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.000623s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.000812s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.000290s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.000269s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000639s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000274s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.000807s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 497821 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001806s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1776344420 WHERE `id` = 497821 [ RunTime:0.000650s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001775s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 497821 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001054s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 497821 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.003241s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 497821 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.007558s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 497821 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.002029s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 497821 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.001122s ]
0.094078s