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人到中年,离异带娃,却依旧是个恋爱脑

  • 2026-06-26 11:54:43
人到中年,离异带娃,却依旧是个恋爱脑
年轻时候追韩剧的我，做梦也没想到，人到中年，当了大妈之后，依旧是个恋爱脑。
遇见我男朋友的时候，我37了。还有孩子。
尽管已经奔四了，我还是义无反顾地陷入了爱情的沼泽。整天期待他的消息。
在工作繁忙、压力大的时候，他的消息就像有强大的魔力，瞬间治愈我疲惫的内心，化解大大小小的压力，让我能够卸下焦虑，轻装上阵。
有一段时间，我完全不想上班，只想和他聊天。那段时间恰好他工作很悠闲，每天陪我各种聊天。有时候整个下午都在聊天，我一边享受着恋爱的甜蜜，一边有点内疚今天工作没任何进展。
（当时的部分聊天截图。聊得都是没有营养的废话，却超级解压。）
周末和他在一起的时候，我完全不想看手机，仿佛时光停止，哪怕就靠在他旁边，看他打游戏，一起刷短视频，都很治愈。
他就是有种奇妙的魔力，可以给我很安定的、忘却世间一切的感觉。
有时候他看着我恋爱脑的样子，很不理解：你都结过婚了，咋还跟初恋似的？
唉真出戏，这句话一下子把我从青春岁月拉回到了现实世界。
现在多年过去，再回望当时恋爱脑的我，我不会觉得自己幼稚，反而认为自己很幸运。
人到中年，还能拥有青春懵懂般的情感冲动，是千金难换的。
我不在乎自己奔三还是奔四，这不重要。
年龄只是一个数字而已。
没有谁规定奔四了就不该有傻乎乎的爱情。
我知道自己给他加了无数层的滤镜，我也分析过自己为什么会超迷恋他。
他集合了我少年时期喜欢的人的特征。
*我表哥帅气的侧颜，
*我叔叔博学多识的眼镜和书生气，
*我小学暗恋的帅哥的痞气，
*还有我没有从我母亲那里得到的包容、温柔与宠溺。
... ...
尽管知道有很多滤镜的成分，可我宁愿滤镜永不破碎，让他在我心中一直闪光到老，也是一种特别美好的体验。
哪怕在别人看来傻乎乎的。
想起曾经听到过这样一句话：
“倘若有一天我得知，你所有的温柔与爱意都是谎言，也求你不要拆穿，就这么骗我一辈子吧。”
我深切认同。
有时候，爱胡思乱想的我，也会幻想，他会不会是老天安排的NPC呢，完全按照我的幻想设定的一个群演？
那又怎样呢？
人生如戏，身在戏中，就好好享受吧。
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  1. CONNECT:[ UseTime:0.001259s ] mysql:host=127.0.0.1;port=3306;dbname=d_mffb;charset=utf8mb4
  2. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `fenlei` [ RunTime:0.001360s ]
  3. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 0 [ RunTime:0.016353s ]
  4. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `fid` = 63 [ RunTime:0.026865s ]
  5. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.001628s ]
  6. SELECT * FROM `set` [ RunTime:0.000689s ]
  7. SHOW FULL COLUMNS FROM `article` [ RunTime:0.001928s ]
  8. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` = 528556 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.001086s ]
  9. UPDATE `article` SET `lasttime` = 1782447211 WHERE `id` = 528556 [ RunTime:0.017662s ]
  10. SELECT * FROM `fenlei` WHERE `id` = 65 LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000749s ]
  11. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 528556 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.036956s ]
  12. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` > 528556 ORDER BY `id` ASC LIMIT 1 [ RunTime:0.000542s ]
  13. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 528556 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10 [ RunTime:0.002866s ]
  14. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 528556 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 10,10 [ RunTime:0.015949s ]
  15. SELECT * FROM `article` WHERE `id` < 528556 ORDER BY `id` DESC LIMIT 20,10 [ RunTime:0.005847s ]
0.338801s